Counseling

My Approach

Counseling services are confidential, and I do not disclose actual client stories, but the following situations will give you an idea of the type of problems that I often work with.

• “I’m having trouble making a decision.”

• “I can’t get over the end of this relationship, and I’m not interested even in dating again.”

• “I have some really difficult issues in the past that are making my life unmanageable now.”

• “I really wanted my baby but she has taken all my energy and I feel miserable; I’m exhausted and crying, and I’m not being the mother I want to be.”

• “My boss is overlooking the good work that I’m doing.”

• “Our marriage seems like a war zone, and I don’t know what to do about it or even if we should continue together.”

We all have good intentions in our lives, but then the realities of our issues seem to rise formidably before us. We may lack skills or understanding about these matters, and so working our way out of these dilemmas successfully may stump us. Too often we wait for things to change, thinking that things will get better. Time goes by and we may find that our patterns have actually become more deeply embedded.

What to Expect in the First Session

On your first visit I will give you some paperwork to take home, complete, and bring back to the next session ; this paperwork includes a Client Information form and Office Policies. In the first session we will get to know each other a bit, and I will ask some questions about what brings you to the session. I will be listening for underlying pain, frustration, and unmet needs, as well as personal strengths, support, and other resources. Subsequent sessions will be explorations of what has been done on the problem, what needs to happen next, exposure of blocks to progress, and nurturing oneself through the growth process.

In couples work and marriage counseling I will be assessing for attachment issues, friendship, openness, and also trust, skills in communication and conflict resolution, and ways to promote safety and companionability in the relationship. I’ve developed an approach that uses Jungian assessments, exercises from John Gottmann’s work, and somatic work that cultivates deeper connections between partners. This work is very active and involves a commitment to changing behaviors and attitudes that have become unhelpful. It is my intent to help build mutuality and empathy in the relationship so that this primary relationship can meet the needs of each partner well and bring greater satisfaction to each individual and the family.

I also offer pre-marital assessments, as they can be very helpful in providing awareness of potential trouble spots in relationships, and in heading off struggles and conflicts before they become habitual.